Oh Baby, Baby
by Elphaba Tiggular
Summary: [postRENT] What happens when Maureen and Joanne get into a fight? Who does she turn to and when ends up happening that will change everything? First RENTfic be nice, please.
1. Chapter 1

Oh Baby, Baby

Disclaimer: I don't own RENT

"Leave I don't care!" I yelled from my room. "You know what Joanne, I'm packing my bags and I'm leaving!"

I sniffed and fought back tears, Joanne said that it was over, she was leaving. She accused me of being rude and selfish. Now she wanted it to over for good. She'd come back to me, but meanwhile, I was better off packing my bags and getting out of here for a couple of days…maybe go to Mimi's, then again Mimi's been living with Mark and Roger. Oh, shit…I was crying and throwing things in two duffle bags, should last me at least two weeks…if need be. I threw shirts, jeans, a skirt, shoes, and various items that I may need.

I grabbed my two bags miserably and walked past Joanne, sniffing. I didn't say anything until I opened the door and stepped outside that's when I told Joanne that I hoped she was happy and I'd be back to finish getting my stuff…but I was hoping that she want me back before that point. I found myself walking down the street passing some skeevy scumbag who asked if I needed a "lift."

I pushed past fighting tears, mentally kicking myself. I changed so much for her! For her I didn't do things that she didn't want me to, like party or get strange piercings. Best of all I tried to make things work! I changed for her…well, not everything. She like her rules let her have them! I hoped she'd find someone as boring as her! Then she'd come back, begging me saying, "Maureen, honeybear, I can't live without you! Come back to me, baby!" And would I go back? Maybe after making her hunger for me!

I got to Mark's loft and hesitated before knocking on the door. There was Roger, my luck! I didn't have to deal with my ex when I looked like this! I couldn't tell if Roger was going to let me in right away, but moved aside to let me in. Mimi was sitting on the couch, her eyes scared and curious. There was stiffness in the air, cold and haunting memories of this place…that couch was painful, that table was cunning, that window, the projector, the walls. I saw the door of Mark's bedroom open, the soft light of the sun shining out into the hallway. I fought an urge to go and see if he was there. I wanted to curse him for being right about Joanne, I almost wanted to slap him…then again…I missed him, pretty badly too.

Mark never fought back, he let me control and manipulate the situation, and he never wanted to fight with me. Joanne always had to butt-heads. It was her prerogative to fight over everything! So what some woman in a rubber suit flirted with me! I'm a flirt, so it shouldn't hurt, I mean, it means nothing! I flirt with someone; it doesn't make it serious or even anything! Damn her! It was times like these when I missed Mark. I thought that being with a woman would be easier, but it was really much harder because you're dealing with someone who is kind of like you.

"Maureen, are you okay?" Mimi asked.

I frowned for a second. "What do you mean?"

"Your mascara is smudged…you look awful," she replied.

"Thanks…" I muttered pushing past Roger and walking into my old room…which Mimi had apparently taken over, so I went to Collins' old room. I threw my bags on the bed and stamped around the room and kicked a dresser. Roger and Mimi looked at me like I was crazy. Then the sound of the door broke the attention from me to the door.

"Hey," Mark's voice came through the air.

I cringed internally and sat on the bed unsure of what to do. There he was, Mark…the ex…not that I was attracted to him anymore…at least I didn't think so. I mean, I was not into guys anymore. So, I ignored the plunging feeling in my stomach and went to sleep. The world could go to hell for all I cared and could have taken Joanne and Mark with it as well.

I awoke, god knows how many hours later, disoriented and quite fuzzy. I knew I was still very tired, but I pushed myself off of the bed and walked barefoot to the bathroom, looking over my screwed up appearance. I tried fixing myself up so that I didn't look like hell just incase Joanne came here…or I ran into Mark or whatever. They didn't even know what was wrong with me, except that I came in all upset, but who cares. I just continued to clean myself up until a familiar face came into view of the mirror.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"You're crying," Mark said in plain stupidity.

"Well, duh, it's not every day you get dumped," I replied.

"Joanne dumped you."

"Yes, now are you happy, Mark? You were right! She dumped me! Said that I was selfish and rude!"

He didn't say anything, I turned my mascara wouldn't come off my face, but I didn't care. I glared at him with utter hate, but he returned the gaze with care. I stiffed, I felt my defenses fall. My heart turn…I missed him…I did, he was never the fighter…only a lover. He always forgave me no matter how many times I cheated on him. I felt the tears in my eyes, damn they burned really badly. I backed up almost in fear as Mark walked toward me. He gently wiped a tear from my cheek. I turned from his touch.

"Did she hurt you?" he asked.

"Not physically," I whispered.

He was getting dangerously close, I wanted to pull away…I wanted to run. Another part of me wanted to stay and make him mine all over again, but which end was stronger? Which part of me was I willing to let go…I didn't react, I just acted. I couldn't fight anything, I just moved and my lips were crashed against his. A keep kiss, a mind reeling, toe-curling kiss. We fought for domination, our tongues dancing and we didn't once stop to think if it was wrong.

I led the way to Collins' old bedroom, trying to turn the knob while still battling Mark's hungry lips. As the door opened I struggled to keep from falling until he had me pinned against a wall. He pulled and yanked feverishly at my shirt, while I tried doing the same. Neither one of us even sure how it began, but we were going insane. I took off his glasses, tossing them hastily on a nightstand. We paused, catching our breaths; Mark smiled while I just gawked. I found myself trying to figure out who I was…was I Maureen Johnson, the lesbian, performer, or was I Maureen Johnson, Mark's girlfriend, performer. Either way I was a performer, but was I for Mark or Joanne…Joanne had just dumped me off like I was shit…so why put her into the picture here.

I slipped away from Mark, pulling him to the bed with me. "It's alright baby," I purred, "I won't hurt you…much, I promise. Just make me shine and shimmer, make me yours all over again."

"Are you drunk?" he asked.

"Did you taste alcohol?" I shot back.

"Why now?"

I shrugged and pushed him on the bed, "I missed you…I want you…can you forgive me, baby?"

I straddled him, kissing his lips and making sure to shift my weight to my upper body, pushing into him. My hands crawled up and down his sides. Mark responded slowly, his kisses were slow, but had feeling, his arms slowly wrapped around my waist. I felt as though I should have been singing "touchatouchatouch me" from Rocky Horror, I felt so evil, but so good. I was filled with desire, and I didn't even know what fueled it. Slowly more flesh was being revealed, each touch left zinging trails of fire on the skin. Kisses came fierce and demanding; tongues plunged, probed and licked. Teeth nipped and gasps were released.

Mark had taken control of the situation; I was lying on the bed, gazing at him with curiosity and need. I was unashamed; he had seen me naked before, we lived together. I rose and kissed his lips softly, wanting the attention. His hands were stiff on the edge of the bed, slowly I pulled them towards me, placing them on my bare breasts. His face reddened and I couldn't help but to smile. He closed his eyes, but I grabbed his face saying, "Baby, look at me…" Slowly his eyes opened as I pulled him closer, "Mark…please, I need it."

He didn't answer, except to kiss my lips then trail kisses along my jaw. His hands started to react, kneading, pressing and pushing into my breasts. The kisses kept coming, slowly down my neck, dragging along my shoulder and down to my chest. My hands went to his short blond hair, running through it, the gel slowly loosing its hold. I could feel the embarrassment radiating off him…it was pretty arousing that a man could get so embarrassed about sex. I liked the feeling of being all powerful, a sex-goddess.

I honestly didn't know what the hell I was thinking; I was just moving and living. The thought of a condom was totally beyond us at this point. I wasn't thinking about it even after it was over, was he? I couldn't tell. I was so caught up in the sex, the feelings, the power…I had so much power over him. I remember my first thought in the whole after-glow was that Mark was a pretty good lover. I was still me; I was just now questioning me. I knew I loved Joanne, but I still had this bubble of feeling for Mark. Now, I was in Mark's arms…sleeping against his chest…the sound of his heartbeat lulling me to sleep. I was warm and comfortable against his bare flesh. Sleep came easy within his warm embrace…it wasn't so bad being with a guy…although I thought I was over them…go figure…

A/N: Ok, this is a start…I don't know if you can guess what will happen next. This is an idea that I had a long time ago…like oh, damn, a month, when I first got into RENT, because my friend and I think Maureen isn't completely over Mark and is "experimenting." Sorry if she's OOC, but I this is my first fic! And sorry if I got you guys hyped for a sex-scene, gotta keep a rating. La Vie Bohème!


	2. Chapter 2

The morning after wasn't bad as I expected…in fact, it was kind of nice. I went to get up, but Mark's arms were wrapped around my waist. It was a warm welcoming change in my life…almost so soothing that I felt myself slipping back into sleep. I could definitely get used to this…maybe all of it. Still…there was something missing…something I couldn't place. Mark looked so sweet when he was asleep…not that he wasn't sweet…it was well…he looked so peaceful, not hiding behind his camera for once.

His breath tickled my cheek, I smiled. I knew Joanne would be mad, but so was I. She hurt me! I was rebelling; sleeping with Mark was a good way, in my mind. I shifted, snuggling closer, wanting the warmth and comfort. His shoulder had pink nail marks dug into them…I didn't realize how fragile human skin was…I mean, yeah, I knew you fell and scrape yourself…but I never thought seriously about the fragility of human skin…my broken heart must have softened me…or was it like an afterglow thing? Whatever it was…I felt good!

I drifted back off to sleep and when I awoke, Mark was gone. It was cold where he had been lying; I wondered how long ago he had woken up. Looking for my clothes was the hard part…my bags were somewhere, not that I felt like looking and the clothes that I wore yesterday could have been anywhere. There on the floor was Mark's shirt, which I hastily threw on and I found a pair of underwear and pants lying around. I walked out of the room. Mimi sat at the table drinking coffee, Mark and Roger were nowhere in sight. I slumped down into a chair, I was so desperately miserable, Mark up and left me and Joanne wanted nothing to do with me. Was I that bad? No! I couldn't be!

"Are you okay?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah, totally! Why wouldn't I be?" I asked back in a fairly happy tone.

"What happened that you were crying?"

"Oh that…it's nothing, really, don't worry." Mimi looked suspicious, so I said, "it's nothing…I just got into a fight with Joanne. She just needs time to cool down."

"Is that why you slept with Mark?" she asked, I felt my eyes narrow slightly. "Don't worry, Roger doesn't know. You never cry though…was it bad?"

"I did once," I said. "Honey, everything will be fine, don't worry. Joanne and I have always gotten back together. She loves me too much to see me go. Give it a week."

But a week went by and I didn't hear from Joanne…I missed her. I wouldn't admit it. Then I started getting worried, what if she got a new girlfriend? What if I was history? But no one dumps me! I always the one who does the dumping! Now I was the one who was waiting for love. I spent more of my time locked in Collins' room, jumping only to pick up my cell phone. Most of the calls I got were from Collins…not that I didn't like talking to him, I missed Joanne. The only person who had attempted to talk to me was Mimi. I figured Mark was too embarrassed…and Roger was just Roger.

I had soon tried approaching Mark about that night, it was pretty good, it felt good and right. But I had an identity that was slowly shattering, now that I was yesterday's news to Joanne. Why should I be the one rejected? I could find myself a new love that was better than her! I mean, I have gone around. I have had my experiences, but nothing was like being with Joanne…Mark wasn't bad…what was I thinking? My reputation was dying before my eyes. You know what…fuck my reputation! I was not only slightly mad at Joanne, but mad at myself. I had allowed Mark to get close to me again and I was all over him!

Slowly more weeks went by, it was almost two weeks after the incident that I started to let people back into my life. Mark was slowly coming around. I saw that Joanne wasn't coming back around, so I decided that I wasn't going to let it bother me. I had to live. I went to the Life Café with the group, it felt awkward being there single and with Mimi and Roger together, she was hanging all over him. It made me envious…so I hung over Mark. I didn't drink, I was too upset to even try and hold anything down. I stuck with water. I swore things were fine. I'm sure Mimi told them everything…as I told her everything a week after.

Before I really became aware of it, Mark and I started getting into a relationship. I felt a repeat of before, knowing that as soon as Joanne had forgiven me I was gone from Mark and back with Joanne. I wasn't very cautious, like always, I looked for fun and games…I teased him and played with his heart all over again, but he was always the same sweet Mark. He often liked to make me feel like a queen, showing the most beautiful film reels he owned.

He took me out at night, we went to a dance club one night about a month and a half later…Mark was a clumsy dancer, but he cared. We danced slowly to this beautiful song that reflected our relationship and he knew it too. I felt inside that I was breaking; I knew something was wrong…but I couldn't explain it. Mark held me close, I breathed in his scent as the song played behind us.

_Visits to you are suddenly new and suddenly everything's so good  
I've been here before, will I be here again.  
Please tell me you'll never be taken  
Is this the right time or is this the last time, how much more time  
When will time take away my visits to you?_

_Living with this, holding your hand, knowing I'll have to let go soon  
Living right now, and right now and right now,  
Knowing I'll soon be without you.  
Is this another time or is this the last time  
How much more time, when will time take away my visits  
And when you go where your going, where will you be going  
I know I'll keep going on my visits to you_

I backed away from Mark, looking into his eyes. He knew it too, the song was ours. We knew this relationship shouldn't and couldn't last. Both of us knew that I had my life to live. Our hands were clasped together and we started to a table. I watched him with an odd calmness. I felt more peaceful now than I ever had before…and it was an odd feeling. I didn't like it because it never was part of me. Life was spinning around me, I was lost.

I leaned on one hand propped on the table, watching him. I watch him, but his blue eyes never really setting on me. It was awkward, silent…and…frightening. What was I afraid of? Me? I have never been afraid of anything…I never backed down from a challenge, I always fought back. Something was so strange that I found myself like a child…but almost like one of those Greek goddesses, unashamed and naked. I wouldn't back down, not now! Joanne wasn't calling and I wasn't begging to go back (no matter how much I wanted to go back).

Mark leaned forward, what now? I stared, blankly and hesitantly, but lazily still as my head rested on my arm. Gently Mark pressed his lips onto mine. I didn't react right away. His hand joined my free one, that rested on the table top…it was reassuring me that everything would be alright…but I knew somehow things wouldn't be. There was that strange gut feeling, but I ignored it and kissed him back fiercely.

We didn't come back to the loft until after one in the morning. Too tired to go much farther, we fell asleep on the couch. It was a nice feeling, knowing that you could go out and party and not have to butt-heads about anything. I felt so warm, but uneasy too, I couldn't place my finger on it…but there was a reason. I was soon asleep without much of a second thought.

I awoke the next morning feeling ill. I couldn't explain it. I was fine not even five hours ago and now…now, I felt queasy, I tried getting up and I couldn't really see straight. Then I just tumbled into darkness.

A/N: I feel like something's strange with it, but I suppose it's because Maureen's truly trying to get over Joanne. I felt it flow from my fingers. The song I used was "Visits to You" by Anthony Rapp, odd I use his song in this…but I was listening and they fit so perfectly with the story. I hope everything isn't too OOC and stuff…


End file.
